How can i get over the death of my grandmother?

She died about 2 years ago. A week after we found out she had cancer she died. I used to paint alot and never showed her any of it [never showed anyone, kept it to myself] but i was going to paint her something just for her since she loved oil paintings. She also loved to crochet a lot and after her death i took on this skill and am really good in it, recently learned how to knit. I feel guilty for not painting a picture for her like i promised, or shared my common craft with her. She would of been proud of me i know, even though it doesn't seem like we were close she was the closest person in my family to me. I can't recall telling her i loved her either, my family is just this way, we all care about each other but don't say these things so its hard for me to do it, i wanted to but i never got to have any last words to her or anything, i feel guilty for all of this, i miss her SO much and wish i can see her again, i cant believe shes gone? i never really gotten over the idea of her not here, i just been crying here....... how can i not feel guilty and get some closure?