LGBT:You know my name, Not my story. Advice.?

The sad world we live in, society controls everything. what is society exactly? orthodoxed rules? social tendencies? a code constructed in the absolute beginning of humanity as means of survival? why do we depend on it? can we not be different? are we subject to the norm and exiled for not accepting it? i ponder these questions as i look pack at MY past that yet unlike yours has lead me to this same fork in the road. i think of my younger years, my desperate cries in vain for help. i had chosen personalities never matching mine yet expected from us over exile for uncencoring myself. i want to go back, be myself again, but i dont want to lose what i have gained from my life in the norm. the only way i can think of coping is by uncencoring myself where i am annonymous; here on ya. but the real me has begun to fade away, and every desperate reach for my life is merely speeding up the fade of me.